Communication has been dramatically changing with texting and social media messaging. For decades now, texting has become a fundamental part of how we communicate each other, whether it was work-related, a friendship, or just for dating. Among the myriad complexities of modern communication, one behavior remains contentious and gets much debate: “double texting.” What is at first a seemingly minor act can carry enormous weight on how we understand conversations and relationships and social etiquette. However, what is double texting? Why do we need to address it, and how do we do it?

Definition of double texting

Double texting basically just involves the act of sending a second text before an answer to one’s first message has been received. In fact, it is really very simple, but the process itself can trigger many different responses depending on a variety of different contexts, the nature of a relationship between a sender and receiver, and personal styles.

For example, you just message someone and a few minutes later you are not responded to. Then you proceed sending that person another message. This is known as double-texting. There is no universal cut-off time frame, but the perception of the process becomes the issue.

Why people double text?

This is a very broad reason. There are different cases or reasons why people double-text, and this has some points of connection with the sender’s feelings and intentions. So, let’s try to observe some common reasons about duplicating texts:

Asking for clarification

Seldom would the sender know exactly what he or she wants to say in the first message. It can be very vague or incomplete. Thus, when that particular information is realized to be missing, it is easy to just send another message clarifying all aspects. This happens mostly in formal settings or situations where details can really make a difference.

Restlessness or impatience

Double texting is the most common cause of anxiety from waiting to get an answer. Most people in the fast world experience anxiety or uncertainty while waiting to receive an answer. Perhaps, this is because they believe that their message might have been missed or ignored. That is what it takes for most people, especially those involved in dating or romantic relationships, as emotional stakes are usually at a higher level.

Urgency

At times, there is a need to respond very quickly, and the sender believes that an immediate response requires another message. Urgent messages may involve quite practical matters, such as coordinated planning; or emotional ones, like comfort and reassurance.

Conversation flow

There are those moments wherein the conversation is so flowing that it’s a natural instinct to send two texts. For instance, in group chats or just playfully teasing each other, sending some messages would do well for faster exchanges and something more fun. In such situations, double texting may not have the same negative connotation that one would find in a formal or even romantic situation

MISTAKE OR WRONG TRANSMISSION

Another purely blameless cause of double texting is simply human error. We’ve all sent messages on the run, hitting “send” before a thought is fully expressed, or perhaps using autocorrect, which gets in the way when it auto-corrects a word, so a quick follow-up is needed to correct the word.

Double Texting Etiquette

While double texting is not necessarily bad in itself, it is how people think about it that heavily relies on social etiquette. To some, double texting might look desperate, clingy, or impatient; to the other, it is as natural as texting. So let’s go through these unwritten rules that sometimes help decide whether one should or shouldn’t double text in such-and-such situations.

Relationship stage matters

It also depends on the nature of your relationship with the person you are communicating with. For example, when it’s still early in a dating situation, double texting might perceive as too pushy in most cases, particularly if the connection is not so old. Conversely, double texting often gets the nod much more easily when it’s part of close friendship or established relationships.

Respect personal boundaries

All human beings are different in terms of communication. For some, time for text might be much more relatively fast, whereas for another person, it may take time to respond, especially if he or she has many commitments or is in a busy situation. If you’re dual-texting with a person who tends to take a long time in response, it might be a question that should answer in yourself: are you respecting their boundaries or the speed with which they are communicating?

Context Time

Messaging Timing is everything. Of course, if the conversation topic is important-a time-sensitive issue like planning an event, for example-follow-up messaging will likely be necessary and appreciated. But if it’s a casual subject, sending a second text right after the first one may seem redundant or intrusive.

Silences

It does not mean that there is something bad if the other person is silent. Sometimes people are occupied with things, or there simply forgets to answer. The double-texting can be stressful or creates an uneasy feeling when the recipient cannot reply immediately. Be patient and attuned to the need of others to balance out your need for an answer.

Personal communication style

Some people are naturally speedy at texting, and sometimes, while texting, they break their thoughts into several messages. For them, sending more than one message in a short period will not perceive as aggressive; it’s rather part of the flow of the conversations they have with the recipients. However, for someone who is keen on formalize or structured conversation, it might be treated differently.

Psychological insight into double texting

Double-texting phenomenon corresponds to deeper psychological dynamics and may give a clue on how we relate to others. It can be related to attachment style, self-esteem, and understanding of social cues.

Attachment styles

A person with an anxious attachment tends to double text because they need reassurance and validation from the other person. Fear of abandonment or rejection may arise due to delayed response.

However, those with an avoidant attachment style are more likely to view double texting negatively because they place a high regard on their freedom and personal space in communication.

Need for Confirmation

Double texts may also indicate a necessity to validate the identity of the sender. In a society where instant gratification is nearly an entitlement, individuals’ psychology can interpret not receiving a response to be a form of rejection whenever it happens-though the delay may be purely innocuous in its cause. A follow-up text often arrives as an attempt to reestablish or reconnect when there is silence.

Overthinking and overanalysis

One tends to overthink discussions, especially when emotions are involve. Double texting would represent an overthinker who cannot be very certain about the reception of the first message. Such overthinking would lead to second-guessing; as a result, the sender would want to send a follow-up message for clarification or re-engagement of the discussion.

How to deal with double texting

If you are going to send double texts, analyze the situation and your intentions. Ask yourself if another text is require or coming across as anxious or impatient. If you are the receiver of duplicate texts, be aware of how you respond. Response with graciousness and clear understanding can be pretty helpful to healthy communication.

Guidelines for double texting:

Patience is virtue: Wait for the other person’s response before you are sending another text. Hours or even days may make a difference on how to accept your messages.

Context Matters: If the message is of great importance or urgent, make sure to indicate that in the follow-up text. End.

Do not overthink it: If double-texting is normal to a conversation, do not overcomplicate it. Sometimes, the flow of a conversation justifies another message.

Read More: The Jealous Boyfriend: A Guide to Understanding, Addressing, and Managing Jealousy in Relationships

Result

Double texting is that little but significant aspect of the modern way of communicating. Whether it is seen as an eager or overzealous action base on the situation, knowing why we double text and how to do it right makes interactions healthier. Whether you’re sending bisexual texts or receiving them, concern for styles of communication, social dynamics, and personal feelings can lead to healthier, more thoughtful conversations.